From "Why me?" to "Why not you?"- Mental Health & PCOS

Once upon a time, not all that long ago, I found myself saying a phrase over and over again “Why me?”. At the peak of my PCOS diagnosis, I could not seem to eradicate this way of thinking. How unfair was it for a 19 year old girl to have to face health issues with such a high risk for serious outcomes later on in life? Infertility, relentless weight gain, further comorbidity. The way it was framed by my providers, every script they wrote was a tally ticking me closer to a miserable future.

I felt like my life had spiraled out of my control. Every way that I tried to manage my symptoms only extrapolated them. My mental health started to worsen, with feelings of anxiety and depression becoming overwhelming and manifesting in restrictive eating and panic attacks. I felt at a complete loss, and worse still, felt that I had no one to confide in that could relate to me because I had no loved ones struggling with this diagnosis.

Although manageable, PCOS has a significant and lasting impact on mental health. Many studies have revealed that women with no previous psychiatric issues develop anxiety and depression related to their PCOS diagnosis. Women with irregular menstrual cycles as well as weight gain, hirsutism, and acne begin to struggle with mental health issues related to feelings of lost femininity, anxieties about future pregnancy, and self-esteem issues.

It feels like a Catch-22 because mental health affects and IS an effect from PCOS. With the right guidance, treatment, and support, I’ve been able to drastically improve my mental health and coping mechanisms with PCOS.

Reframing your Mindset

A large part of my mental health struggles with PCOS stemmed from looking at the “big-picture”. I was so overwhelmed by the hypothetical mishaps and misfortunes of these hormonal balances that I neglected to rectify my day to day patterns of living that could improve my outcomes. I was stressing about college, working out in excess, failing to eat enough, and was utterly and totally exhausted.

My body was in “fight-or-flight” mode and my cortisol (stress hormone) levels were at an all-time high. The way I combatted this was by slowing down my lifestyle completely. I switched from heavy lifting and HIIT cardio to low-impact exercise. I began to eat more intuitively instead of restricting, and consulted a nutritionist to evaluate what foods were increasing inflammation in my gut (which is an irritant for PCOS). I prioritized sufficient, quality sleep.

I also made an effort to utilize the trend of TikTok "Hot Girl Walks" as my main mode of stress relief and transportation to decompress from my day, incorporate low-impact exercise, and improve the outcome of our envrionment. I've hosted HGWs for a variety of communities in my bubble, and so many other young girls struggling with PCOS have felt the impact of this small change as well.

The most impactful changes, however, were protecting my peace and healing my mindset. I began to consistently alter my relationship with food (stopping myself from guilting when eating something I enjoyed, allowing myself to eat when hungry, etc). I also began journaling in the mornings and at night to create SMART goals for my day and then reflect on what I was grateful for. Also, I refused to allow myself to succumb to societal pressures to be out and about if I felt I needed a night in. I gave myself grace and began listening to my body. This allowed me to come back down to earth from my stress and live life “day-to-day” without worrying about the future.

By integrating these practices, the results were extraordinary. All of my symptoms diminished and I feel more at peace and happier than ever. Rome was not built in a day, however, and there is always work to be done. Fortunately, I now have the tools to improve my outcomes and now, so can you.

At the end of the day, the most impactful change I made in my life was switching around my thinking process from saying “Why me?” to saying “Why not you?”. My pity-driven thinking did nothing but lead me further down a rabbit hole of anxiety, stress, and depression. However, seeing other women, especially in pageantry, living happily and achieving their dreams, I began to think to myself, “Why not you?”. The path to success is different for every beholder, but there can be success nonetheless. Trust in yourself and live for today.